Lilypie - First Birthday

Saturday, April 26, 2014

The day I met Mishka & what happened before.

Warning: Contains references to normal biological processes that involve a mother & child. If you get offended/disgusted/ squeamish I'd suggest you find something less normal to read about. 
On the 21 st of November 2013, just after having completed 37 weeks, I had an internal examination. Doc said my cervix had started to soften, so she said she might expect me very soon in the labour ward. I was excited but also for the first time terrified. Having your insides probed by a stranger albeit by a doctor for the very first time in your life is a terrifying experience. On this appointment I was accompanied both by mum & J. We headed home and on the way stopped for some chai & cake at the local Chai Point. I remember every single  pointless detail of that day.
 The next day I lost my mucous plug. When I called my doc she asked me to come as soon as the pain starts. The entire day, I did not have pain. I just kept losing bits of my plug. That night however was uncomfortable. By 4 am i started getting irregular menstrual like cramps. I was expecting tightening which wasnt happening so I was very cool. By 7 in the morning on the 23rd, I told my mum & dad to get prepared just in case. I called the doc again & explained my pain after which she asked me to go to the hospital. I went assuming that I'll be sent back. Once in the labour room, the duty doc checked me and said "You are in labour" . That was it. I wanted to tell her No Im not. This cant be labour. Labour is supposed to be dramatic. But then I chose to remain silent.
J ran around to begin the formalities and I was asked to change. My pain kept coming & going. The pattern was around every 5 minutes lasting for 45 seconds. By 3 pm my doc walked in and during her check up my water broke. She said she has to induce because the baby's head was still high up. I was dilating very slowly. By 8 pm she walked in assuming I’d be fully ready to push but I had not dilated fully. I took an epidural by 9:30 pm. It helped me for a couple of hours. That night rain lashed the city & Bangalore recorded a rainfall of 106 mm.
By 12 midnight on 24th November my doc came back and then 1 hour of pushing later,I had a normal vaginal delivery , forceps assisted. I was way too exhausted to push, although I remember pushing with all my might. Apparently it wasn’t enough. I finally saw her emerge from me, was too much in pain to even ask if it was a boy or girl. I saw the umbilical cord and thought it’s a boy. I always wanted a girl, so I was like okay, it’s a boy. Finally I asked the ped and he said it’s a girl. I then remember yelling out it’s a girl, it’s a girl to J who was holding my hand throughout that 1 last hour of pushing. Everyone in the labour room laughed at my madness. She was then whisked away to the NICU because she had mild tachypnea.  I was sent to my room at 4;00 am and was finally allowed to see my lil one in the morning. By afternoon I was breastfeeding her in the NICU and she was sent in with me by 6:00 pm.
Did I have a lovely birth experience? I would say no. Even after 5 months the answer remains No.
What would I want different?
Firstly, I would have liked to wait. I feel my induction was unnecessary, atleast that early. I felt rushed into my delivery. I also hate that gravity defying position. Who can push with legs high up in stirrups, supporting the rest of the weight of your legs with your hands & push a baby out? I’m a human, not a gymnast.
I wish I could be allowed the freedom to change into a more gravity friendly, squatting position. Do I have the courage to say “Next time , maybe?” Nope.
I think I am done with the baby making.
Mishka is the most beautiful, perfect child & I cannot ask for more.

Mishka, the way we saw her when she roomed in with her Mamma

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