The day I met Mishka & what happened before.

Warning: Contains references to normal biological processes that involve a mother & child. If you get offended/disgusted/ squeamish I'd suggest you find something less normal to read about. 

On the 21 st of November 2013, just after having completed 37 weeks, I had an internal examination. Doc said my cervix had started to soften, so she said she might expect me very soon in the labour ward. I was excited but also for the first time terrified. Having your insides probed by a stranger albeit by a doctor for the very first time in your life is a terrifying experience. On this appointment I was accompanied both by mum & J. We headed home and on the way stopped for some chai & cake at the local Chai Point. I remember every single  pointless detail of that day.
 The next day I lost my mucous plug. When I called my doc she asked me to come as soon as the pain starts. The entire day, I did not have pain. I just kept losing bits of my plug. That night however was uncomfortable. By 4 am i started getting irregular menstrual like cramps. I was expecting tightening which wasnt happening so I was very cool. By 7 in the morning on the 23rd, I told my mum & dad to get prepared just in case. I called the doc again & explained my pain after which she asked me to go to the hospital. I went assuming that I'll be sent back. Once in the labour room, the duty doc checked me and said "You are in labour" . That was it. I wanted to tell her No Im not. This cant be labour. Labour is supposed to be dramatic. But then I chose to remain silent.
J ran around to begin the formalities and I was asked to change. My pain kept coming & going. The pattern was around every 5 minutes lasting for 45 seconds. By 3 pm my doc walked in and during her check up my water broke. She said she has to induce because the baby's head was still high up. I was dilating very slowly. By 8 pm she walked in assuming I’d be fully ready to push but I had not dilated fully. I took an epidural by 9:30 pm. It helped me for a couple of hours. That night rain lashed the city & Bangalore recorded a rainfall of 106 mm.
By 12 midnight on 24^th November my doc came back and then 1 hour of pushing later,I had a normal vaginal delivery , forceps assisted. I was way too exhausted to push, although I remember pushing with all my might. Apparently it wasn’t enough. I finally saw her emerge from me, was too much in pain to even ask if it was a boy or girl. I saw the umbilical cord and thought it’s a boy. I always wanted a girl, so I was like okay, it’s a boy. Finally I asked the ped and he said it’s a girl. I then remember yelling out it’s a girl, it’s a girl to J who was holding my hand throughout that 1 last hour of pushing. Everyone in the labour room laughed at my madness. She was then whisked away to the NICU because she had mild tachypnea.  I was sent to my room at 4;00 am and was finally allowed to see my lil one in the morning. By afternoon I was breastfeeding her in the NICU and she was sent in with me by 6:00 pm.

Did I have a lovely birth experience? I would say no. Even after 5 months the answer remains No.
What would I want different?
Firstly, I would have liked to wait. I feel my induction was unnecessary, atleast that early. I felt rushed into my delivery. I also hate that gravity defying position. Who can push with legs high up in stirrups, supporting the rest of the weight of your legs with your hands & push a baby out? I’m a human, not a gymnast.
I wish I could be allowed the freedom to change into a more gravity friendly, squatting position. Do I have the courage to say “Next time , maybe?” Nope.
I think I am done with the baby making.
Mishka is the most beautiful, perfect child & I cannot ask for more.

Mishka, the way we saw her when she roomed in with her Mamma

And she's here!

24th November 1:17 AM , my beautiful baby girl came into our lives. It's been over a week and my life has changed overnight. I graduated to a mommy, full time. :) Thrilled. My birth story in my next post. 

10 things that made it all the more memorable.

1. The first time I heard my little bun's heart beat. Till then it didn't seem real, I didn't know if it was really happening. I wasn't as excited as they show in the movies when I saw the positive pregnancy test. But when I heard the heartbeat, as cliched as it may sound, I was irreversibly in love.
2. When I felt my tummy get firmer & rounder every morning when I woke up. Nobody except family knew and it felt like a secret.
3. I got a hike in my salary, days after my lil one made it's presence known. Do I call you my lucky charm?
4. We moved into our own little nest coz I had to travel to work. I did miss my lovely inlaws but I also cherished setting up home with the love of my life.
5. Things got moving along & I started getting clumsier. Id drop keys, pens, vessels and anything that Id hold. As harmless as it may sound, I ended up dropping a very hot lemon chai on J's  lap when we had all gone to chai point. He had a nasty burn & I was feeling guilty as hell. Avoided chai point after that experience. Silly I know.
6. Sleeping in as J woke up before me every single morning & I could hear him moving around, doing all the morning chores, taking the dogs for a walk, feeding them, cleaning up their nightly trysts with the loo. They say a husband who lets his wife sleep for a little longer is worth his weight in gold. ( in some pregnancy book). Mine definitely is. He might not have done the usual conventional things that to be dads do, but in his own way, made life very easy for me. I realised through the course of this pregnancy that I married one of the most unselfish humans in the world. It's not just me, it's the way he treats every single living creature around him. I love him more than I did before.
7. 24/7 access to my mommy's food. I ate well & always had a happy tummy thanks to her.
8. The fact that putting on 15 plus kgs didn't make me give a damn. I feel positive about my body and my baby bump. To add to that, less hair fall, shinier hair, a super smooth complexion, & a compliment generous hubby made  me almost gloat with happiness.
9. The fact that my little pumpkin gave me no trouble despite all my hospitalisations & repeated infections. He/she passed all tests with flying colours right from the first dating scan to the nuchal translucency scan to the anomaly scan, growth scan & the GD test. Touch wood.Probably is already in sync with mommy & knows mommy worries too much, so tried to keep the worrying to the minimum. We both have another exam to clear in the next few days & I hope & pray that we'll be just fine together.
10. J & me talk about our little one & we cant believe that we'll be parents to a sweet child. I always say "Imagine our love walking around". :) My bag is packed, peanut.
See you soon. 

36 weeks 4 days

Phew.. We have almost made it little one. This week's been exhausting. 1 successful rescue, 1 failure, and little angel who came home last month, as a helpless little pup, starving with an eye injury that could have got infected with maggots , has kept mommy very busy. Yes, welcome to a family that will treat all creatures with the same respect & adoration & will not indulge in speciesism.You'll soon learn that this is the way of our crazy lives.
The good thing is mommy is super active, still takes Angel & Pushpa for walks . and an additional 30 min walk so she can be strong & prepared when you decide to arrive.
 Mommy finally made it to her official maternity leave date although she was tempted to give up midway. She stretched it by a cool 2 weeks longer than she anticipated. and she feels fine.
Aches & Pains have increased ofcourse but Mommy knows it's all the run up to the big day. She got a super cool hair cut just to feel better & jokes with dad that she wants to look good when you see her first. She knows you'll love her anyways & so will she. Her first tryst with unconditional love.
 Everyone asks her if she wants a boy or a girl. Some even wish her that she should have a boy. Mommy thinks it's extremely ridiculous. For those who wish for a boy, she replies by saying, she wants a girl. She loves the look on their faces when she says that. Mommy loves little girls, but she knows she's already in love with you, girl or boy.
We just want you to be healthy & happy.
Ajji is spoiling your mom rotten, by making super yum food. Ajja is getting your room all prepared. Dad is giving mommy foot massages every night even though mommy can tell he hates it. :) Dada & Dadi will move in with us once you're here. It's a big, loving (vegetarian) :p family with a few four legged friends Sam, Pushpa & Poopey that will embrace you & nurture you.
My first little note to you, just before we meet.
Hang in there sweetheart & Im in no hurry. Take your time, stay safe in your mommy for as long as you want & then when you think it's time, let us know in time to make it to the hospital. :)
Love,
Mommy. 

33 weeks 3 days

Excited.. Nervous.. Bump's getting bigger everyday. Still have a few unmet cravings pending, like the hyderabadi onion samosa. My constant craving has been for The Masala Dosa. Went to CTR,Malleshwaram & happily munched on that yum dosa. Oh before I forget, Idli from Veena Stores is still to be ticked away from my list.
I walk almost everyday for 30 mins, beyond which I feel like crawling. A sore throat showed up on Sunday. I went into paranoia mode. Home remedies saved my life or so I'd like to presume. Today is Friday & I seem fine. Doc finally gave me the Go ahead to stop nebulisations.
Met OBG yesterday. She was happy with the growth but lil baby decided to snooze just when she wanted to do a bedside ultrasound. Dint move one bit. So now the as cool as a cucumber doc has asked me to keep an eye on movements. Cue enough to wake up paranoid worry wart mommy. Ofcourse there were some earth shattering moves today, but mommy wonders was that a movement or something else? Paranoid, worry wart mommy.
Still going to work. Very tempted to apply today so i can get out of college in a week's time. But then I feel fine. So have decided to go till the 36 th week. More time later is always a blessing.
The only downside of going to work is finding something to wear everyday. Every week, the what does not fit compartment of my wardrobe seems to be growing. Another downside is when I feel like sleeping at very odd times & putting your head on the desk is not an option anymore coz ur tummy gets in the way.
However, what's surprising is I sleep well in the night. Atleast, I have been so far. Most of these preggo guides, websites & mobile apps talk about sleepless nights. Ive been fine, in spite of waking up 4 times to go to the loo. The only issue is I find myself on my back & I have to consciously shift to the sides. Ofcourse now & then my back kills me, especially after a long day.
Now why am I writing all this. I want to remember every single detail later. When you ask other mums, they ve forgotten almost everything. I thought I wont be able to forget a single detail, when the other day someone asked me what folic acid supplements were given to me in the first trimester, & I had to think a little bit to answer them. Thats when I realised I am also going to be prone to new mum amnesia, when pregnancy seems like just something that happened long ago.
& finally for a sneak peek of my beautiful bump.Not too long now.

29 weeks !

I feel I've been pregnant for ages. Im tired of finding clothes to fit into & look reasonably presentable at work. and Im surprised, I still am sensitive to the "You have put on weight" comment. Duh! and 1 came from someone who has a 4 year old herself and has not managed to lose any of the 'weight' herself that she put on. I think it's one of those things people cannot help but say. It's like asking how are you? but come to think of it, wouldnt a simple 'how are you' do instead?
Minus all the weight blues, i love to wake up every morning & think another day has passed, and Im becoming a mommy! I love to wake up to the realization that I have a little one inside of me and feel my baby acknowledge his/her presence by giving me a nice nudge & a kick first thing when I wake up.
I love the fact that J is also so attentive & caring & I get foot massages every night without a grumble. :)
I have been nagging him to take a flattering pic of me & my bump and he has not still gotten around to it. I dont blame him coz he knows Im very difficult to please. He had a hard time before even when I was fit & fab ( allow me to say that) , now that Im 12 kgs heavier, he knows its a nightmare job.
But this weekend that's on the agenda & I will get a pic.
Meanwhile here's a link that I think you can enjoy & learn a little bit from.
http://www.pregnantchicken.com/pregnant-chicken-blog/2010/4/15/10-things-to-never-say-to-a-pregnant-woman.html

100 days to go! 25 weeks 5 days

My app says 100 days to go... almost nearing the end of the second trimester. My baby shower/seemanta/ godh bharai is happening on the 15th of September. I cannot believe that it's me who's the pregnant one. As a child, you dream of being the star of your birthday, eventually you move on to your big glitzy wedding.... but baby shower? Ive never thought about that. But now, here I am. Had to buy a 'green' saree that represents fertility. Im sure it will languish with my other sarees forever.
I also get back to work tomorrow, after a long break of 1 month. I m hoping to go to work without any breaks for the next 2 months & then take it easy in November. I just hope fate or destiny or whatever it is that usually has different plans for you, agrees with me.
Meanwhile im trying to fit my ever expanding tummy into my old clothes, the ones I wore prior to my running days. Most seem fine, but the trip to the maternity store for some real mommy clothes is looming somewhere around the corner.
Baby's kicking & moving about. I also think I felt hiccups or that's what all those books are telling me.Mr J is a little slow in picking up the movements but sometimes when baby is really energetic , it cant escape J too.
We both wonder at how our life's going to change. It was always the two of us. Now we have to accommodate the third one. Im kicked about it, but I also wonder how things will never be the same again.
There's some baby furniture to buy, but we have put that off to later.
Right now, the house is quiet. I can just hear the fans rotating, once in a while Sam or Pushpa scratch their ears or tails, and I can only hear the ratatatat of the keyboard as I type. I smile as I hope the silence will be broken soon. Id cherish it yet miss the silence . It's a strange feeling.But I know the chaos is what will make my house into a home, our twosome into a complete threesome. We'll be a family. with 3 beautiful dogs. :)
More on the doggy bit in another post. :)